Getting older can be a scary experience for anyone, including your parents. Faculties start to go, looks evolve, and surroundings can change. These things can happen gradually or all at once. As a result, your parent may sense that he or she is losing independence and must embrace change, which are hard facts to accept. This makes your responsibility to aid their transition crucial. These tough conversations must be handled with respect and dignity so necessary solutions can be agreed upon.
Plan Your Approach
Talking to your parents about sacrificing basic rights such as driving and managing money, as well as the possibilities of moving out or getting healthcare assistance, can be scary. It’s understandable if you’re hesitant to have such discussions due to their sensitive, emotional nature. However, putting them off does not do your parents any good. The last thing you want is declining health or other major family issues preventing such a talk from happening.
It helps to have questions or information regarding your parent’s health history, financial status and so on. Knowing their views on these issues is key. They may not agree with your suggestions or the way things are handled, but that’s okay. Keep your ears and mind open and try to understand their perspective. Don’t dominate the conversation. Let things flow and make you parent feel as if his or her contributions still matter. It helps if you write down some major talking points beforehand, so you don’t end up saying something wrong. Given the subject matter, improvisation isn’t the wisest approach to employ.
Keep It Positive
Just because these conversations about topics are difficult doesn’t mean they should take on tones of doom and gloom.
Beforehand, it helps to talk with your parent about unthreatening related topics to sense how well they respond. Talk in general terms about healthcare, the state of your parent’s place, how they’ve felt while driving as of late, among other things. If they are receptive or even asking you for help on any of these things, it makes having that serious sit down more seamless.
On the potential of moving to a care center, you can make the point that a better living arrangement can allow your parent to participate in various activities and socialize. He or she will access freedoms allowing him or her to feel valued and involved. Every topic you touch should be handled with positivity while mixed with reality. It should encourage feedback and make it an open conversation.
Finding out your parent’s feelings on drastic changes and offering comfort are good pointers to follow. Help he or she confront their sense of loss, whether physical or emotional and encourage your parent that the end isn’t near at all. New opportunities to establish healthy relationships with people in your parent’s age group make the transition worthwhile. Everything being done is to makes things easier. That’s how conversations regarding health and independence should be presented.
If there is a sense of agitation or confusion, don’t push the issue. Also, avoid bad connotations, take negative keywords like “can’t” and “don’t” out of the equation and be compassionate. This isn’t about you. These conversations should convey love and understanding while addressing some wholesome truths. Handle with care.
Peter at Colten Adult Care will get your parent settled and feeling comfortable. He or she can enjoy a full-time activities program, home-cooked cuisine, top class care for various conditions and lots more. Once you’ve had those tough conversations, let us help your parent take the next step!